Friday, 8 July 2011

It's Just Never Ending Isn't It?

[Warning: simmering mood. Rant possible. Capitalisation likely]

So today, I was stressed, bored, fed up, happy, then fed up again, knackered...and for all of those feelings I looked for something to eat. I haven't eaten a huge amount and for the most part it has been on the right side of healthy (or just 'not shit' to put it bluntly) but I know I've just eaten things for the sake of it. And now I'm annoyed with myself.

I'm annoyed that I haven't felt like exercising all week and because of that I have felt shit about myself and along with HATING work and feeling a bit lost at what to do, I just don't feel good...and because I don't feel good I think 'screw it!' and I don't feel like exercising - can you see the cyclical pattern?

I am SO sick of being overweight. I'm sick of making bad choices (or even worse, no choices and just idling along in life like a fat robot). I'm SOOO sick of reading about other peoples life-changing weight loss (particularly in Weight Watchers magazine - which I no longer buy) where they lost 120 stone in 5 months SIMPLY by cutting out the 4 blocks of lard they ate for breakfast and taking the stairs at work rather than the lift. I have to work so hard for every friggin' pound I lose (which, by the way I haven't lost one of those for quite some time). When I was going to the gym EVERY morning before work and sticking to my points, RELIGIOUSLY tracking, my biggest loss was still only 3lb (only? I'd kill for a 3lb loss now!!!!)

So yeah, I'm being mardy, but I just have to let this feeling out because it's being eating me up for a couple of weeks now.

Consistency is the key. So all I need to do is exercise most days and stop eating when I'm stressed/bored. Easy peasy innit?!

I think I'm going to have an early night. I'm going to do some Zumba tomorrow to get the consistency-ball rolling and hopefully shake off this de-motivated fug I'm currently in.

Bon nuit!


  1. Hi There

    I just came across your blog and this post made me smile as it's very very similar in tone to my last post - sometimes the whole thing is a royal pain in the arse.

    It sounds like you are pretty determined though missy...

  2. This is a post I could have wrote myself word for word.

    I have been feeling the exact same way and its damn right depressing. I even burst into tears after my boot camp session this morning, I'm on a real low after trying too hard all week and completely wearing myself out to a beyond tired state, not worth it.

    All I can say is I too have been here before, where you are now and you just have to push through it.

    Don't compare yourself to others, who cares how quickly other lose it, your doing your damn best and that's all you can do. Don't beat yourself up about it either, in the long run it will just de-motivate you even more. You have been doing great and it takes dedication to carry on, you just have to force yourself through it.

    You deserve to give yourself a break, your hardest critic is yourself so cut yourself a bit of slack.

    Have a good week hun, I'll look forward to reading your posts when I'm back from my hols.

    Vics x

  3. Aw thank you for the kind comments :) It really does help to know I'm not the only one!

    Thanks for the gee-up Victoria. You are so right, I do need to be kinder to myself. I need to get that positivity flowing - good things happens when I do! (Hope you have a lovely holiday!)

    Sarah. xx