[Warning: simmering mood. Rant possible. Capitalisation likely]
So today, I was stressed, bored, fed up, happy, then fed up again, knackered...and for all of those feelings I looked for something to eat. I haven't eaten a huge amount and for the most part it has been on the right side of healthy (or just 'not shit' to put it bluntly) but I know I've just eaten things for the sake of it. And now I'm annoyed with myself.
I'm annoyed that I haven't felt like exercising all week and because of that I have felt shit about myself and along with HATING work and feeling a bit lost at what to do, I just don't feel good...and because I don't feel good I think 'screw it!' and I don't feel like exercising - can you see the cyclical pattern?
I am SO sick of being overweight. I'm sick of making bad choices (or even worse, no choices and just idling along in life like a fat robot). I'm SOOO sick of reading about other peoples life-changing weight loss (particularly in Weight Watchers magazine - which I no longer buy) where they lost 120 stone in 5 months SIMPLY by cutting out the 4 blocks of lard they ate for breakfast and taking the stairs at work rather than the lift. I have to work so hard for every friggin' pound I lose (which, by the way I haven't lost one of those for quite some time). When I was going to the gym EVERY morning before work and sticking to my points, RELIGIOUSLY tracking, my biggest loss was still only 3lb (only? I'd kill for a 3lb loss now!!!!)
So yeah, I'm being mardy, but I just have to let this feeling out because it's being eating me up for a couple of weeks now.
Consistency is the key. So all I need to do is exercise most days and stop eating when I'm stressed/bored. Easy peasy innit?!
I think I'm going to have an early night. I'm going to do some Zumba tomorrow to get the consistency-ball rolling and hopefully shake off this de-motivated fug I'm currently in.