So...that was 2011

I have not blogged on here for ten years (ok, maybe a few months) so...what have I been doing with myself? Well Sarah, here is a handy bullet point list to remind you:

*I kept a food diary, on Sparkpeople, for over a month. Every single bite accounted for. I lost a disappointingly small ammount of 2lbs, of which was knocked off the extra 4lb I had put on the few months before.
*My love for Zumba was reignited and I dusted off the DVDs.
*Weight before Xmas nomming: 15st 2lbs.
*Current weight: ......yeah RIGHT! That would just top off my end of year blues perfectly! Once normal eating has resumed I will face the scale and tell you allllll about it.

I had a lovely Christmas and hope everyone else did too. I just absolutely hate new year's eve/end of year/new year. I always reflect over the past 12 months and I have to admit that 2011 has been a strange one for me and thinking about it is making me feel a bit teary. In a nutshell I can remember exactly how I felt this time last year and how focused I was on kicking on with the whole get fit goal and how 2011 was going to be THE year that I did it. And I just didn't. I'm left feeling that I've totally disappointed myself and wasted this year putting on and losing the same bloody 7lbs all year and getting nowhere.

I've said countless times before how procrastination is my downfall and that is the main reason I stayed away from this blog as I didn't want to announce a new plan (oh god how I love the plans!) for me to only lose motivation/interest and look for a new answer. But I need an outlet and somewhere to dump out all these neg thoughts and occasional rants. So I'm back dear blog!

With 2012 peeking round the corner I really should be setting out my goals for the year ahead and writing out my 12 week plans, posting motivational quotes and announcing how 2012 will be my year. But I'm not. Not yet anyway. I need to get my head back in the game. I need to want it bad enough.

Until then. Hope everyone has a lovely NYE and I'll see you in 2k12!! Xx

Shred Day 2

...done :)

At this present moment in time I can feel every worked muscle...which just so happens to be every muscle in my body. I loves it!

Looking foward to completing day 3. Baby steps. I'm all about the baby steps this time.

Start Small, Dream Big

Monday, as every person who has tried to lose weight before knows, is the official start date for any new workout plan/healthy eating regime.

I had planned on setting out my goals for this week over the weekend...but I actually didn't get round to deciding on what I would do until about 7:30pm this evening!

The gloomy weather and full day of work made me feel about as much in the mood for exercising as sticking raw chillies in my eyes. Lay on my bed listening to music I cast my eyes across the shelves stacked with DVDs. Hmm, should I do one? Which one can I be bothered doing?

I went for Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for these reasons:

a) It's only 20-odd mind long.
b) It's a really intense workout that gives an all over workout, burns calories and makes you really feel like you've done something worthwhile.
c) After going on about all these 90 day programmes, this will be a good test to see how I fare with a third of that commitment (in previous attempts on this DVD is hasn't been great...but today is a new day/week/30 days!)
d) err...did I say it's only 20 mins long?!

I love/hate this DVD. I love the 3-2-1 concept (you do three rounds of 3 mins strength, 2 mins cardio, 1 min abs + warm ups and downs) and I love/hate the intensity - LOVE that working that flat out makes an efficient use of your time and is better than half-arsing it at the gym for an hour yet HATE the intensity as it kicks my arse!

I'm going to take some full length piccies tonight to compare later down the line. At this point in time I'm taking baby steps so only going to commit to one week of doing this DVD. At the end of the week I'll review whether I continue for another week or change it for something else.

My Workout DVD Collection

This consequence of getting bored easily + wanting to lose weight =

THIS!

Zumba, hip hop, salsacise, pilates, toning, pumping, Davina - I have it all covered! Technically I should look EXACTLY like Kate Moss now. I demand my money back.

My love/hate affair with exercise DVDs (or videos as it was back in the day) started at the tender age of ten when me and my cousin would stick on my mum and auntie's aerobic videos. The one we favoured was a horrendous 1980s VHS which had you shimmying to tracks from the 1950s and 1960s. Thinking on, I even recall there being video footage of me and my friends at my 10th birthday party dancing to this video (oh the SHAME!!)

I graduated from the 80s leotard VHS phase to...a 90s leotard VHS phase! Another aerobic video by some mega annoying woman whose claim to fame was being Princess Diana's trainer.

Over the years I've been given some cast offs from my sister and bought my own - scouring Amazon for the a cheap DVD that will end up being THE ONE. One DVD to solve all my fat problems. I know that a DVD is not the answer, but it doesn't hurt to keep checking does it? ;)

At the moment I'm being wooed by the lure of the 90 day programmes - P90X, Insanity and that one from Tracey Anderson (True Story: I actually watched the full 30 min infomercial online for her new programme. I. Just. Want. It) My sensible self tells me if I put together all DVDs in my collection I could do a completely new routine every day for 90 days. But my impulsive/stubborn/idealistic/hopeful self just believes in the other programmes - I mean LOOK at the results (go on, Google P90X results - uh-may-zing!)

I think I may be able to fend off the urge to purchase the above DVDs, mainly because they look far too intense and they are way too expensive (hitting me where it hurts on both counts!) However, I am still thinking about the Kettlebell DVD set I have seen. Kettlebells is something I've been contemplating for a long time after I saw them being used on the Biggest Loser years ago. I saw in a fitness magazine a couple of weeks ago that using them really helped an already fairly fit women get over her plateau as they act as strength training whilst also raising your heart rate - so a great source of cardio. Reading many, many articles I know that I need to start proper strength training to see some serious results, my bit of cardio and toning is just keeping me on an even keel. There is no point in me toning when I have a wodge of fat covering the area I'm trying to tighten up. The fat has to go first.

Kettlebells may be my new 'thing'. The kick starter to my new plan of attack. Until then I'm off to watch the Tracey Anderson infomercial again, haha! (No really...)*

*Just joking! :)

Plan B

After my admission that I don't want it enough I've decided to fake it till I make it and get some new plan of action in place.

I truly believe the old adage of "fail to prepare, prepare to fail." Ask me to wing it and I fall flat on my face. Work presentations, interviews, glamming up for a night out...I need time to get my lipglosses ideas together before I deal with the task in hand. Oh and lists, lovely, lovely lists. I heart them. All essential for planning.

I am going to schedule in workouts, what activity to do when, back up exercise plans if Plan A isn't do-able that day, and try to plan my weekly meals and snacks better.

Procrastination is thy enemy so I need to actually implement these plans - which means moving my arse (boo!)

I Don't Want It Enough

I like to think I'm pretty honest with myself. Whether I'm feeling motivated enough to get up at 6am before work and sweat it out down the gym or I've thought "eff it!" and ate and drank exactly what I've felt like, I've been honest with it all on this blog.

After reading countless other blogs and fitness/weight loss websites/resources I've come to the conclusion that I obviously don't want to lose weight enough. I don't want it enough.

As my post history shows I'm highly emotional and swing from being focused and driven to lost and miserable within a few days. If I wanted this enough then I would be more consistent and focus on my goals. I would give it my all.

I'm doing it all half-assed which means I take one step forward and two steps back.

I'm not moaning about it, I'm just being honest with myself.

In the past when I have felt like this I've made a plan of attack for the week to get myself back in the groove but I think I need to change things up. I can't do what I've been previously doing as I can't sustain it, I get bored. I don't yet know how I'm going to change things up. But I need to think of something soon as I refuse to end this year having made no progress from the last.

Time for a new plan of attack.

A Year From Now You'll Be Wishing You Started Today

Those words strike to the very core of me:

A Year From Now You'll Be Wishing You Started Today

How many times have I come to the end of a year wishing that I'd kept up those good intentions and habits from the start of the year instead of letting them slide.

After not visiting the gym or any kind of sustained exercise for MONTHS I had a bit of a light bulb/motivational moment a couple of days ago. After chatting about how we couldn't believe it was nearly September with a friend it struck me that September meant there were only four months left of 2011. Which then means it is four and a half months till my next birthday. SCARY. At that moment I decided that I am not going to finish 2011 wishing I had kept up my hard work from the start of the year and I am not spending my birthday wishing I could have worn THAT dress that I couldn't fit into.

It's time to finish what I started.

So, on Wednesday morning (6am sharp) I arose to haul myself down to the gym. Bag and breakfast all packed the night before I swooped down there just as it was opening it doors (fearing if I spent a minute longer in my house I would talk myself out if it) and re-familiarised myself with the machines.

I really enjoyed it and couldn't remember why I had talked myself out of it for so long. The only drag is getting up early to workout before work but I figured that it takes 10 seconds to turn the alarm off, stretch and get out of bed - hard part over - then it's relatively easy from then on!

Not wanting to lose momentum I went to the gym this morning and shall be going tomorrow morning too (Ooh get me!) just because I want to finish the week off nicely.

My plan from now on is:

• Monday - Gym (C25K + weights + abs).
• Tuesday - Pilates
• Wednesday - Gym (same routine as Mon).
• Thursday - Zumba
• Friday - Gym (same routine as Mon).
• Sat/Sun - one day for rest and one day for a home DVD workout, whatever I feel like.

The days I'm not at the gym are subject to change but the gym routine will stay the same as I like following the C25K (even though I've had to go back to week one again!)

I feel in the best frame of mind for a long time.

Four months until the end of the year. Four months of getting up early and putting in the effort. Four months to start finishing what I started.

What Have I Done For Me Lately?

I haven't posted for the past five weeks and in my absence I have whinged about my life, done zero to none exercise and been very half assed about my eating. In fact I've been very half-assed about everything!

I booked this week off work - as I just needed to not be there for longer than a weekend allows - and have started to get my head together. I visited some friends, ate/drank/spent way too much and basically thoroughly enjoyed myself! So now I'm in a good head space I feel it's time I tackled my weight...again.

Thankfully, in that five-week hiatus I have only put a couple of pounds on - but those 2 lbs feel like 2 stone.

Today, I think I'm going to ease myself back into exercise gently with half an hour of pilates. Get myself back into the swing of things. I have been so close to doing this for weeks but something in the back of my head has stopped me by saying "what is the point? It won't make a difference!" Well negative thoughts you are wrong! 20-30 mins a  day is better than doing bugger all!

The C-word is the key. No, not that C-word, the other one: CONSISTENCY. Totally my downfall. I get into a good work out groove then after two weeks I get fed up, then after six weeks I abandon it all together. I need to keep pushing myself to do SOMETHING every day, ANYTHING! I have found this brilliant YouTube Channel/blogger - POP Pilates (also known as Blogilates) who does quick 10-20 min pilates based workouts (on the more aerobic, high intensity side) so I could at least do one of these a day if I don't fancy a full DVD/gym workout. Sparkpeople also has short workout videos.

So that's where I'm at. Can't wait to finally post some good/positive news on here!

Quick tip: Never look at the exercise/fitspo posts on Tumblr when you haven't done any activity for the past month - you will feel seriously lazy (and quite disheartened about the amount of young girls who long to be under 100lbs.)

Be Nice Now!

After my rant-filled post last week, and some very kind comments, I decided I just needed a break. A break from myself and my negative Nelly thoughts. This weekend I treated myself to a big Primark shop (I literally bought a whole new wardrobe!) and I arranged to meet a friend I'd not seen for a while in town for some lunch, drinks and a laugh. Just the kind of weekend I needed :)

So now, I need to come at things differently. Fed up days are always going to occur, but I cannot allow myself to feel that pent up about things when I don't exercise. I have to regain some positive momentum and get into a routine.

I haven't worked it all out and I don't have all the answers for myself but I am definitely feeling much better now. I'm going to re-read my PMA Week posts and see what I can learn from myself (I do talk sense sometimes!)

It's Just Never Ending Isn't It?

[Warning: simmering mood. Rant possible. Capitalisation likely]

So today, I was stressed, bored, fed up, happy, then fed up again, knackered...and for all of those feelings I looked for something to eat. I haven't eaten a huge amount and for the most part it has been on the right side of healthy (or just 'not shit' to put it bluntly) but I know I've just eaten things for the sake of it. And now I'm annoyed with myself.

I'm annoyed that I haven't felt like exercising all week and because of that I have felt shit about myself and along with HATING work and feeling a bit lost at what to do, I just don't feel good...and because I don't feel good I think 'screw it!' and I don't feel like exercising - can you see the cyclical pattern?

I am SO sick of being overweight. I'm sick of making bad choices (or even worse, no choices and just idling along in life like a fat robot). I'm SOOO sick of reading about other peoples life-changing weight loss (particularly in Weight Watchers magazine - which I no longer buy) where they lost 120 stone in 5 months SIMPLY by cutting out the 4 blocks of lard they ate for breakfast and taking the stairs at work rather than the lift. I have to work so hard for every friggin' pound I lose (which, by the way I haven't lost one of those for quite some time). When I was going to the gym EVERY morning before work and sticking to my points, RELIGIOUSLY tracking, my biggest loss was still only 3lb (only? I'd kill for a 3lb loss now!!!!)

So yeah, I'm being mardy, but I just have to let this feeling out because it's being eating me up for a couple of weeks now.

Consistency is the key. So all I need to do is exercise most days and stop eating when I'm stressed/bored. Easy peasy innit?!

I think I'm going to have an early night. I'm going to do some Zumba tomorrow to get the consistency-ball rolling and hopefully shake off this de-motivated fug I'm currently in.

Bon nuit!

Wimbledon Yumminess

I'm not talking abou strawberries and cream but rather the two men's finalists. I usually decide who I want to win by who is better looking (SHALOW MUCH) but I can't pick this one...

 Rafa?

 Nole?

Can't decide!

Stylish Blog Award

I haven't looked at my blog for a week so had a nice surprise that Victoria Lupton at Losing It had passed on the Stylish Blogger Award to me - thanks Victoria!

Firstly, I have to tell you all seven things about myself, so here we go:

1. I'm an introverted extrovert so if I can get your attention I will literally do anything to make you laugh.
2. I love music more than anything - going to live gigs being the pinnacle of enjoying it.
3. I'm GUTTED beyond belief that I'm not going to V Festival this year (see point above).
4. I've lost 3 stone in the past 18 months...
5. ...but have maintained a plateau for about 3-4 months (annoying).
6. I'm currently watching Wimbledon - big Rafa tennis fan :)
7. This blog has been instrumental in helping me make this attempt at weight loss a success. Thank you to everyone who has posted a comment when I've needed a bit of a boost!

Now I have to pass this award onto five of my most favourite blogs (apologies if you have already received this from someone else - just shows how much you are loved!):

Miss Frangipani @ When I Grow up, I'm going to be a Pin Up Girl! Now, here is a truly stylish blog! Gorgeous.

Jem @ Electra - It's not only about the finish line I honestly identify with her so much that some posts sound like me talking to myself (Note: I think the blog can now be found here: http://itsnotonlyaboutthefinishline.wordpress.com/)

Linz @ http://linzerello.blogspot.com/ Totally honest and really funny. One of the first blogs I check every week.

Paul @ http://fat4now.blogspot.com/ (I know Victoria has already passed this onto you) but I couldn't NOT give you a nod! Thanks for the comments and hope you had a nice hol!

I actually can't pick a fifth - my choice would have definitely been Victoria's blog but she's already had it, so I'll give her a honorary mention :)

At Midnight, We Walk...

Did it! I completed the 10k Midnight walk last night in just over 2 hours (not that the time matters, it wasn't a race) all in aid to raise money to keep the wonderful East Cheshire Hospice open to help thousands of people in desperate need of support.

It was an amazingly well ran event and we were all looked after (even getting a welcomed bacon butty and cup of tea at the end of the walk!) The volunteers were fab - all cheerleading us on and shouting helpful things like "nearly there!" : )

At the beginning of the night you had to decide which group to join to walk in - fast, medium or slow paced. I was more than happy to go in the medium pace but my sister had other ideas and coerced me into the fast group. We set off at a really good pace and managed to maintain it for most of the walk, although the last half an hour was a bit of a struggle - I think if I saw one more hill I would have thrown my flashing bunny ears to the ground and had a hissy fit!

I got back home about 3am and couldn't sleep at all. My legs now feel like concrete and no amount of stretching is helping to loosen them up! Oh well, at least I know I pushed myself and managed to get a good workout, bonus!

Brilliant night/morning and I hope to do it all again next year.

Exercise: The Reality

After doing my daily scout for interesting articles/blogs on Sparkpeople I came across this post which really piqued my interest.

Written by a fitness trainer, she states 8 "cold, hard truths" about exercise, these being:

1. Working out will always feel hard.
2. Not every movement or activity counts as exercise.
3. One workout may not undo a sedentary lifestyle.
4. You're not burning as many calories as you think.
5. It won't allow you to eat whatever you want.
6. Exercise alone won't change your body.
7. You have to do it forever.
8. Routine is the exercise enemy.

Now if you are anything like me and have read similar articles like this for years and years there will be  nothing revelatory about those 8 points but the fact is, knowing this and living this are two different things. If I was truly taking everything into account I wouldn't be at this 15st plateau.

The most important 'truths' for me is firstly, point number 1: "Working out will always feel hard". When I'm at the gym sailing through that half an hour bike session that used to make me sweat half my body weight, I know it's time to step it up to the next level - exercise should always feel like you are exercising!

Secondly, point number 7 "You have to do it forever" is another thing that sticks out for me. Last night I spent ages looking up the new-ish home exercise DVD set - p90x. I managed to talk myself out of shelling out £100 for it as I am prone to look for the next big fad that is going to help me lose weight - I have more than enough exercise DVDs to help me shift the pounds, I just need to do them! My point is that p90x, or the similar Insanity 60-day workout, are all short-term solutions, nothing is for life. I'm still yet to find that balance of having activities that I can work into my weekly routine and can see myself doing for the long, long term. I have been thinking about getting swimming lessons (as I never really learnt to swim properly) and see if that could become part of my routine...

Finally, the last truth of "Routine is the exercise enemy" is always something I have in mind when choosing what exercise to do that day. For example, this week I started off doing half an hour of pilates every evening (whilst watching Wimbledon in the background). By the middle of the week I knew I needed to add some cardio in there so opted to do my Zumba Live DVD. As I said, I have loads of exercise DVDs - dance ones, aerobics, toning with resistance bands, pilates, zumba... so there is no excuse for me not being able to change it up. I am thinking about cancelling my gym membership but I just need that other cardio thing to replace it first - hence me thinking about swimming.

All good points to think about and more importantly - act on!

In the meantime, I am going to go an do Davina's boxercise DVD (the 30 min workout one) and then chill out in preparation for the charity Midnight walk tonight - wish me luck! :)

East Cheshire Hospice Midnight Walk

Tomorrow I will be partaking in a 10k Midnight walk for East Cheshire Hospice. Apart from this being a great bit of cardio for me to log in my exercise journal, it is to raise money for a brilliant organisation that is an essential support network for so many people.

If you have any spare pennies that you could kindly donate it would be much appreciated, and you have my word that I will reciprocate a donation to any charity events you will be partaking in (a kind of sponsorship IOU). You can donate through my Just Giving page - which is quick, easy and completely safe and best of all, the funds go directly to the charity!

I'll remember to take lots of pictures (of me looking a berk...and looking at the weather forecasts, a drenched berk at that!) and post them on here for your entertainment :)

THANK YOU! :)

All Good in the Hood Checklist

Protein filled brekfast - devoured!
Fruit snacks - snacked on!
Lunchtime walk - actioned!
Evening pilates - 25 mins of my my muscles being stretched!
Blueberry smoothie for tomorrow's brekfast - blended!
Tuna salad for tomorrow's lunch - in the fridge and ready!

I love it when a plan comes together :)

Still...

Still trucking on.
Still having good days and bad days (aka life!)
Still trying new things
Still doing old things.
Still have that goal in sight.
Still have the belief I can make it.
Still love Take That! (Have total post-tour depression at the moment after seeing them in Manchester. Anybody else catch the Progress tour?)

Still Banging On...

Work stress, crap weather and a severe lack of motivation has meant I've been off the healthy lifestyle wagon. However, I have been hanging on to the wagon for dear life by incorporating pilates into my routine. Last week I nearly managed at least a 30 min session every day.

I need to keep my exercise levels up and I also need to watch my snacking which needs reigning in.

Nothing else to say for the moment as procrastination is my thy enemy!

Message to Myself

Sarah, you cannot continue this cycle. Don't act all innocent, you know EXACTLY what I mean!

You know that you have been overeating since last weekend.
You know you've been eating too many snacks in the evening.
You know you are just eating for the hell of it.
You know you feel full, sick and bloated at this very moment.
You know you have been exercising in a half-hearted way.
You know the scale isn't moving.

You know your mood has been effected by all of the above.

So what are we going to do about it?

MOVE that ass!!
Go outside for an early morning jog.
Go back to Zumba class at the gym.
Do the Davina legs and bums section that you like.
Finally learn the routines on the strictly DVDs you have got (you won't learn nowt if you don't practice!)
Master the hula hoop!
Do your hip hop dance DVD you like so much - hey, why not do it before work?
Use my resistance bands - they tone EVERYTHING. You just gotta USE IT!
Get workouts out of the way (so first thing in the morning) Y'know, like you used to do? Remember how you enjoyed that so much? How good (and embarrasingly superior) it made you feel?

Now, lets not forget FOOD

THINK before you eat! If you are bored/emotional/stressed then FOOD is not the answer!
Listen to your body.
Eat more protein.
DRINK more water. Lots of water. Plain water. Cucumber water. Lemon water. Ice water. Just DRINK.
Control your snacking habit. You are NOT hungry, just greedy for some 'afters'.
Start to track daily food intake on SparkPeople (quit whining, it won't be forever, just till to learn new habits).

Got all that?
NOW...

Make yourself PROUD
Go prove yourself right
You are WORTH the effort
It WILL feel good
It WILL be worth the early mornings and sweaty clothes.

Thank you for reading,
Lots of love,
The Sarah who will be finally revealed to the world. xx

Round and Round and Round and Round

Sometimes your attempt to maintain a positive outlook gets broken down by the smallest negative thought. Once that kernel of negativity seeps through a whole wave of "AND I can't do this either" and "this isn't right about me as well" crashes over you and pulls you under.

After a mad busy day at work and feeling tired I came home and wanted to crash. Instead of chilling out I decided to hula hoop for half an hour - burn some cals, y'know. Now whether it was because I was just too tired or not, for some reason me and my hoop were not being friends, and by this I mean the bloody thing kept falling to the floor! I'm not an expert at it but I'm usually good enough to keep it going for a few mins before having to restart. Last night? Nope, about 20 seconds was my longest spin before it hit the floor (and my shins and ankles on the way!)

I persevered through a frustrating half an hour and just felt so annoyed and negative afterwards. It's funny how such a small thing could make me feel so bad but that bad hoop session seemed to encapsulate everything I'm trying to break free from. How I don't feel good enough, how my weight impairs me having fun.

I really do need to work on not letting something so small alter my mood. I gave my hoop some evils this morning! I'm going to fetch it in a minute and attempt another 30 mins. It will not beat me again!

This may be aiming a bit too high! I'll settle for keeping it up for more than 5 mins first!

Finish What You Started

My new wallpaper says it all! I've been on this weight loss journey for a long while. It's time I finished what I started.

(Wallpaper source: Myhealthmybeauty)

Over the Barrier

Oh please tell me you are all eating chocolate eggs too? I've not done too bad, sharing an egg last night...and then again this afternoon! However, I did mix in some exercise today to try and balance it all out.

So, I weighed in this morning and am *drumroll pwease* 14st 13lbs! I have once again cracked the 15st barrier. Whoop! This time I must push on to the next stone barrier as in previous visits to the under 15 mark I have ballsed it all up by putting a few pounds back on again. NOT THIS TIME!!

What am I going to do differently this time? I will:

• Start week 4 of C25K.
• Exercise in the mornings - I just can't get my head around doing it at any other time.
• Drink more water. Lots more water.
• Continue to try different protein packed breakfasts', as they keep me going till lunchtime.
• Keep reading motivational blogs. I have found lots on Tumblr that have great little motivational/healthy messages such as "If you aren't hungry enough to eat an apple, you aren't hungry at all." Very true!

An Easy Breezy Lazy Sunshine Post

This gorgeous weather + fun in the sun with friends the past few weekends = severe blog neglect.

A long weekend in London last weekend and some out of office work meetings last week derailed my next week of the C25K. However, I have still been concentrating on healthy eating and yesterday I did the 30 day shred (and am paying for it today!)

So I don't have anything else to share today except...

Source: No one ever achieved anything by giving up!

Week Review + Hooping

A bit of a belated review of last week but it was a good week!

• Lost 2lbs. Now 15st on the nose.
• Completed week 3 of C25K.
• Did my pilates DVD on my 'day off'.
• Went back on the wii fit for the first time in over 170 day (oopsie!)

I'd talked about hula hooping before and after an unsuccessful experience with Davina's hoop that I bought from Argos (it was too small, but too wide and heavy...so I took it back) I decided to get some hooping action from the Wii fit. I unlocked the 10 min hula-hoop ages ago and had forgotten what it was like. I chose that first to get my heart pumping and MY GOD, I'd forgot how intense it was! About a minute in I was staring at the time ticking down in the corner thinking "4 mins left of this??" Then when I had finished one way you are right back in to swivelling the t'other way!

It's such a good workout and that plus some jogging, boxing and yoga moves managed to give my muscles a good challenge. Note to self - don't leave it another 170 days before you revisit the Wii Fit!

Moving On

I just did something I've been thinking about for a wee while now. My week of positive thinking/being nice to myself has given me the confidence to finally cancel my Weight Watchers subscription. Here are my reasons why:

• I just do not believe in/like Pro Points. I know its loved and worked for millions of people but it is just not for me.
• I do not want to track points/think about food as points for the rest of my life.
• I want to look at food in terms of nutrition rather than "ooh I have enough points left for a bag of crisps!"
• I know how to do this lose weight business. I know what foods to eat more of and what to eat in moderation and I know what exercise I like.
• SparkPeople is an amazing FREE resource that I look forward to checking daily. The WW site could get some tips off it.
• It's time for me to step out of my comfort zone. Stop relying on the safety net of WW and continue this journey on my own two feet.

 I feel focused and excited! This weekend will be dedicated to getting myself organised and develop a plan that is perfect for me. The Sezzajp plan!

Feeling Like a Rockstar Part Two

My kick arse week continues strong...

• I started week three of the C25K and felt strong, capable and like a world-beater.
• Learning how to run is the best feeling ever.
• I wish I could tell the teenage version of myself that one day I would be bouncing out of bed at 6am to go running!
• When negative thoughts have inevitably crept in this week I have acknowledged them, given them a few minutes to ponder then cast them aside. Rockstars don't give a toss if they say something stupid, or worry about showing the best bits of their personality to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE ALL THE TIME.
• I have plenty of friends and colleagues who like me for me without me even trying, so no need spend the effort trying to impress people who don't really impress me.
• Being nice to myself WORKS. I am having a great week!

Feeling Like a Rockstar Part One

As mentioned yesterday, this week is going to be my biatch. I'm going to attack it with such revved up positive intentions, the likes of which not seen since my festival weekends!

This morning my alarm went off early and after a few initial thoughts of sacking it off, I got ready for the gym to complete my second week of the C25K. I ATTACKED that walk/run, spurred on by the joggers surrounding me. I felt really powerful and finished strong.

I got ready for work in the changing rooms and put on the outfit I had picked out last night-  green peg leg trousers, a nude coloured pussy bow blouse and a gorge floaty cappuccino-coloured Topshop shrug. I had been wary of wearing my new trousers outside of the house as they are high waisted so you have to tuck the top in or else you look to top heavy -therefore making a feature of my waist (good) but then people will be looking at my tummy area (bad). Well I plucked up the nerve to wear them to work and I have never got so many comments about looking nice in work as I have today. I felt like a rockstar!

Today was the best Monday I've had in a while. C'mon Tuesday - I'm ready for you! :)

It is so ON this week!

The clocks have gone forward. Spring has sprung. It's the beginning of a new week and I am well and truly revved up for it. C'MOOOOON!

I weighed in this morning and have lost the 6lbs I put on over my holiday the week before last, so am now back to 15st 2lbs - where I was pre-holiday. I'm sure those 6lbs were just scared off by the sheer force of my positive attitude this week (on and maybe a few gym visits!)

My gym bag will be packed tonight ready for the beginning of a arse-kicking week! I am still following the C25K plan (and still loooving it!) but after a bit of fannying around of schedules I'm going to re-start the second week tomorrow so I can still schedule in the proper rest days.

I'm going to try and maintain my PMA (positive mental attitude) - particularly in work - as being negative about everything, and myself, is just too tiring.

Bring it on week because I'm ready for ya!

As well as the C25K I'm also going to be re-visiting my Thursday night Zumba class (as we now have a new instructor).

I've also been thinking about mixing things up and keeping things fun (another thing I'm trying to abide by - making exercise fun) possibly buying a hula hoop. Does anybody else hula? I love it on the Wii Fit so might treat myself to one this week.

I wish you all top week. Go get 'em my lovelies!!

Quick Thoughts

• I am feeling positive.
• I am feeling strong and confident.
• I will reach my weight loss goal.
• I will experience all my life goals.
• The only thing that holds me back from doing/feeling the above is me.
• I am going to be my own best friend as being mean to myself does not do ANY good.
• I am going to try and live by the old adage "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" - even when it comes to ridiculous/annoying/infuriating/horrible people.
• Getting fit and enjoying exercise is more important than the number on a scale.
• Motivation is not an actual 'thing' - you either do something or you don't.
• Waiting around for the magical motivational moment is futile (see above point).
• I am slightly obsessed with reading stories/looking at old photos of Elizabeth Taylor.
• I like short bullet point lists.

Fake it to Make it

I'm slowly getting back into the healthy mindset yet I still need a boost (or a boot...up the bum). My first step has been spending some time on myself doing mani/pedicures, faffing around with make up etc, and basically trying to pretty myself up, because if I don't look good on the outside then I don't feel like putting the effort in to help myself feel good (whether that be with exercise or eating well). I know that sounds a bit backwards - usually the adage is to put the effort in first to then make yourself look good. But if I feel like rubbish and I wear old, dowdy clothes, leave my hair greasy and don't bother with my 3-step skincare routine then I think "why bother eating a hearty breakfast?" or "why bother resisting those mid-afternoon treats?" or "why bother putting that exercise DVD on tonight?" Basically, why bother with myself at all?

Well I'm far from ever giving up so therefore I do make the effort. I weighed in this morning and have put 6lbs on in the past three weeks. Sigh. So it's a step back but I'm worth the effort so I'm picking myself back up and forging on.

Checking in...

In short:

• I have just got home from a week eating my way around Wales with my parents.
• Did a quick weigh in this morning. Does. Not. Look. Good.
• I REALLY missed exercising.
• Eating what I want, when I want is fun for a day...then it just makes me feel like crap.
• Going to start WW tracking this instant to get me back on track.

So I had a fantastic, relaxing holiday - the weather was brilliant and I got some amazing photos (even on my crappy camera phone) and needless to say I'm gutted to be back home and the thought of going into work on Monday is too much to bear. Anyways, I've got lots of blog/news/TV to catch up on this weekend, so just chilling out :)

C25K W1D1

In an uncharacteristic move I woke up early this Sunday morning (instead of lolling around in my PJs until Midday). I weighed myself (STS), made some porridge, got my gym kit on and hauled my arse down to the gym.

The reason for my excitable start to the day was the prospect of starting the first day of my C25K plan. Running has always been something that has scared me - honestly - at school, whenever the cross country was mentioned in P.E I'd often end up in tears just at the thought of it. After reading up on the C25K plan, which aims to get people off the couch and running a 5k, I decided I was going to try it and try and overcome my ridiculous fear.

So this morning I got to the gym before 10am and it was bloody well full! Did these people not know it was Sunday and the day for rest?! I could feel a sense of panic rising as I made my way up the stairs to the treadmills. I started to plot out in my mind alternative exercises I could do - but I was here to run, stick to the plan I kept telling myself. I picked out a treadmill that only had a few blokes nearby and as I looked at my reflection in the glass I said to myself "no one is looking. No one cares. Stick to the plan!"

The first day of the first week training starts with a 5 min brisk walk warm up. No problemo. I started striding along easily but as soon as the timer ticked over 4:30 seconds my heart rate shot up. Not from exertion but from pure fear that in 30 seconds time I would have to start the first of eight 60-second jogging intervals. I started to panic - what if I could only jog for 10 seconds and had to stop? I imagined those blokes next to me thinking to themselves "ha! She tried the C25K and could only do 10 seconds. The loser!"

5:00 flashed up on the timer and there was no going back, it was time to step it up. I sped the treadmill up and started to jog. It took a few fiddles with the speed to get it right but eventually I was into my first 60-second interval and it felt good. Before I knew it the 60-seconds was up and it was time for a 90-second walk before my next interval. Easy. I started to feel really confident and even though my jog wasn't particularly fast it still got my heart rate up and I concentrated on my running action - making sure my head was up and my heel was rolling through to the ball of my foot.

Half way through my calfs started to burn during the intervals and the 90-second walking breathers were becoming extremely good ideas. I praised the creators of C25K for the pure genius of the 90-second walk to get rid of the lactic acid building in my legs. All hail the 90 second walk! I started counting off the intervals and when I got down to my last jog I had a big smile on my face and put all my energy into the last run. Then it was all over and time for a 5 min cool down.

I checked my HRM and for the 30 minutes I had burnt 341 calories. Not bad!

I felt like I was walking on air when I'd finished - I practically floated out of the gym. It may not seem a great deal for most people but for me it was a real accomplishment to get over that fear of running and I really can't wait for my next session (which will be Tuesday as you are supposed to leave a rest day in between).

Is anyone else doing C25K? Let me know how you're getting on! : )

I like to Move it, Move it

I'm doing as Madonna once requested and getting into the groove. The old adage of "doing little and often" has been the theme of this week. I have kept telling myself "just do some exercise tonight." It doesn't matter if I'm tired, feeling a bit full from my tea, I'm in a bad mood - just do something. Even if it is ten minutes of a DVD, just something, anything.

So I have. Each night this week I've picked out a DVD from my extensive fitness DVD library (I will post a pic of it one day!), popped on my HRM and got to it.

I'm trying to make a point of always wearing my HRM when exercising but sometimes, when I'm in a hurry to get started before I change my mind, it does get left behind. Anyway, from the two times I wore it this week these were the figures:

Exercise: Zumba Cardio
Duration: 45mins 34sec
Calorie Burn: 448
Average HR: 146
Max HR: 168

Exercise: 30 Day Shred - Level 1
Duration: 26mins 56sec
Calorie Burn: 244
Average HR: 141
Max HR: 171

I do love some cold, hard facts!

Bananas in Pajamas

Two posts in one day? Yup *nods head * I can barely make one a month sometimes, but my WW blog's cup runneth over today.

Last Friday I had a complete urge to make Banana Bread. Never made it before. Never eaten it before. But I could not ignore the urge! So after some nifty googling I stumbled upon this recipe and after literally being ASTOUNDED that I actually had all the ingredients I rolled my sleeves up and set about making it on Saturday afternoon.

The recipe is really simple - moosh up some bananas (they are supposed to be ripe, but mine weren't - just requires more elbow grease) add in the egg, cinnamon and sugar. The mix all the dry ingredients together (flour, baking soda, baking powder - I added in some walnuts too) - add the wet banana mixture to the bowl and stir as if your life depended on it (dramatics can be left out!) pout into a loaf tin and bake for 40-50 mins gas mark 4.

Et voila

I tried it warm (as I couldn't wait to get my piggy hands on it) and was a little 'meh' about it. Then I had a piece the next day when it had cooled down and I really, really liked it. The banana flavour comes through and the walnuts are a nice surprise.

The recipe I used works out at around 5 pro points per slice (based on 12 slices in a loaf) but next time I make it I'm going to half the amount of flour and sugar, use less bananas and add a few more walnuts - which together should make a smaller loaf and work out around 3 pro points per slice. Will post B-Bread mark II next week!

HRM

Last week's shopping spree doth maketh me a happy soul, and now I'm back to being a miserable sod, ha!

My heart rate monitor arrived (Polar FT4) on Thursday. I do love coming home from work to a parcel!

In my excitement I set it up immediately (which took just a few mins to key in my vital stats) then I strapped the chest strap on and set about working up a sweat to one of my exercise DVDs. I decided to to just one section of my 10 Min Solution Hip Hop dance mix. Here is the recorded info the HRM gives you:



Duration and Calories burned



Maximum and Average heart rate






Total time in your ideal heart rate zone



I was so impressed with how easy it was, literally press a button when you start to exercise then press a button when you have stopped and check out you little report.

I went off that same evening to the gym to test out how many cals I actually burnt in my Zumba class. I was dead excited to be all scientific-like and guess what...it was bloody well cancelled! I was really miffed! So instead I trudged onto the treadmill and bike and did a couple of weights totally half-assed as I was annoyed I wasn't getting my sweat on to some Latin beats. I used my HRM and my half-hearted exercise attempt yielded just over a 200 cal burn, so hardly worth getting in the car for really but there you have it.

So I had a really nice weekend meeting friends and having a few drinks and food...and having a few drinks! So I haven't actually used my HRM since as I haven't done any proper exercise, but when I do I shall report back here. Captains log and all! *salutes you*

SAD and Snap Peas

The sun is shining and I feel like I've got my mojo back!

I read through all my posts since I started this blog last summer and was a bit disappointed that my bright, positive attitude to weight loss/exercise/life in general had started to deteriorate in the Winter. I really think I suffer from SAD as my doom and gloom 'I hate my life' mood has lifted considerably since we are having light mornings and lighter evenings.

I feel suitably motivated and chirpy again - hallelujah, amen!

My PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) has co-incided with some purchases...ahem. I just thought what the hoo - I work hard for the money goddammit! So went about my merry way in ordering a printer (FINALLY), a dress I loved off ASOS for a forthcoming wedding (not mine), some mineral eyeshadows and possibly my best purchase: a heart rate monitor (HRM).

I recently bought the Jillian Michaels book: Winning by Losing as it was only a few quid on Amazon, and in it she recommends using a HRM. I really wanted one myself so I know how hard I am actually working and to get an accurate reading of the calories I have burnt (rather than going off the grossly inaccurate gym equipment readings and having a blind guess of the APs on WW). After reading a post on the WW message board and consulting this Heart Rate Monitor website I decided to buy the Polar FT4 - quite pricey at just under £60 but it is a well renowned range and has got great reviews - hopefully that should be arriving tomorrow so I want to wear it to my Zumba class and see if the 500-800 cal burn is accurate (methinks not!)

In other news, I have found a new snack (or lunch accompaniment I should say) Sugar Snap Peas! I've seen them all over other people's blogs, and I like them in stir frys, so attempted them raw. They ain't half bad! I prefer to have them with a teaspoon of balsamic vinegar over the top and for 0 points they been great at being an extra kick at lunchtime to help fill me up. I take a handful of them to work with me every day now - a nice change from carrot sticks.

Nomnomnom

Fudubahdah's

I am an exercise DVD-buying addict. That is all.

...I lie, that isn't all. After falling in love with my most recent exercise DVD purchase (10 minute solution Target Toning) I realised that I have a helluva lotta exercise DVDs. I almost took a picture of them all then backed out as it would have taken half an hour to dig them all out!

There are plenty that I don't like and will probably never use again but I now have a decent collection of effective and almost enjoyable DVDs. Feeling slightly guilty that I've ignored these, I dusted off my Zumba DVDs and did that one this afternoon. I really must aim to do home exercise at least four times a week.

Anyways the real point I wanted to make was about the certain areas I concentrate on when exercising. For me, my huge arms remain my constant focus. I never wear short sleeves and it is so annoying buying a beautiful dress then having to cover it up for the sake of hiding my fudubahah's (as Kath Day-Knight would say).

My recent 10 min solution DVD has a great arm workout with a resistance band and I want to do this short routine at least twice a week - these arms are going to be toned!! I almost begrudge exercising any other muscles as nothing annoys me as much as my flabby arms (although my belly and legs need totally need focusing on too!)

Now, that really is all. :)

Sharon and her sis don't care about their fudubahdah's!

What makes me happy?

I have been asking myself this question for the most part of this week. What does make me happy? Because for the past few weeks, and quite honestly months, I have been feeling increasingly unhappy.

This week has seen me at my lowest point. Feeling like a robot just mechanically drifting from one day to another not finding anything exciting, joyful or just generally good. I put it all down to my current job - but in reality it is an alright job, just boring for the most part and not what I really want to do. No, the job isn't it. It is me I am unhappy with.

I feel really directionless and not having any answers only pushes me further into a state of 'dunno' and not gona even try.

So, again what makes me happy? Instead of focusing on what I don't like - what do I like?

I like:

• Being creative.
• Feeling healthy.
• Doing dancey-fun exercising.
• Watching films and innovative TV (and some crap TV).
• Music, music, music - listening to oldies, finding out newies, going to gigs and festivals.
• Celeb gossip.
• Aspirational fashion magazines.
• Reading blogs - I have two folders dedicated to my fave weight loss/healthy living blogs and fashion/style blogs.
• Retail therapy.
• When I make an effort to paint my nails.
• Beautiful views.
• Dreaming about travelling Europe and America.
• Nights out with the gang.
• Rare moments of when independence, confidence and opportunity collide.

Hmm, so there we have it. A bit off topic but I needed to get it off my chest. Will post my weigh in result tomorrow.

Number Crunching

Had the most laborious, long-arse day today. I just couldn't steel myself to get into my work properly and was endlessly clock watching (which is scientifically proven to slow down the Earth's rotational spin). It's been that kind of week.

Yesterday was OK though. I went back to my dearly-missed Zumba class and sweated up a storm while getting slightly annoyed at the new routines which meant I couldn't show off in front of the newbies (is that awful of me?!) I'm definitely going to go back to my usual Thursday classes now, although my instructor is leaving next month, booo :(

So after the endorphin high of last night I've had a total dip. My mind started to wander to weight loss statistics, when I really should have been doing something I'm paid for, and thought I'd crunch some numbers tonight. So here we go:

Current weight: 15st 2lbs (212 lbs)
Current BMI: 34.2 which puts me in the obese category for my 5ft 6 height

Weight that will put me in the BMI 'overweight' category: 13 st 2lbs (185 lbs)
How many lbs needed to lose to reach the 'overweight' category:  1st 9lbs (27 lbs)

Weight that will put me in the 'normal weight' category:  11st (154 lbs)
How many lbs needed to lose to reach the 'normal weight':  4 st 1lbs(58 lbs)

Only 58 lbs until I'm deemed 'normal'! Must crack on then.

Sunday Strolling

My Sunday morning started off with a 80 min walk around our local woods (I am so lucky to live close to such a pretty area). Usually my Sunday morning consists of lounging around in bed until lunchtime, but not today. Me and my dad braced the cold - which is perfect weather for walking - and got strolling. Set me up nicely for the week.

I weighed in this morning and have lost 1lb which I'm happy with. I started tracking again last week and was doing well until the weekend where a few lunches/dinners out with friends racked up the points. So I want to really push this week to prevent a STS result.

This week I really want to have a couple of sessions down the gym, do my Zumba DVDs and also mix it up with a few of my other DVDs (shred, pilates). Basically this week I want to move more!

I mentioned in my last post that I was trying to change one habit a week - as found on this blog. I am continuing with the first week habit of drinking more water so am moving onto the next habit - moving more! My exercise habits have been a little sporadic of late (due to illness, dark mornings and general lazy arseness!) so am just trying to get into a regular habit.

Here's hoping for a successful week ahead.

Winning and Losing

Last week I won a Woman's Own competition, literally the first thing I've won since the Easter raffle in Primary School! My prize? Only £170 worth of weight loss goodies! I was such a giddy kipper when I found out.

The parcel was delivered on Monday and in it I had 20-odd sachets of Tony Ferguson meal replacement shakes, his recipe book, Cho Yung weight loss tea, Shape Me Beautiful positive thinking CD and a pair of SIZE 12 'tummy tuck' jeans.

Now i'm really not a fan of meal replacements as I think it is such an unhealthy way to lose weight and who wants to go through life with only a heavily processed powder to sustain you? But, as a quick breakfast for when i'm running late, I thought they would come in handy. So on Tuesday and Wednesday I had the Chocolate shake and Cafe Late shake for my brekkie. The first time I tried it I realised I wasn't going to be able to drink it all in one setting as it was so filling, so I popped it in my water bottle and drank the rest throughout the morning in work. It did keep me fuller for longer as cereal (no matter how big the portion) never seems to keep the hunger away for me.

By Thursday I was craving a 'proper' brekkie (i.e. one made of ACTUAL food) but it did make me think that once all the sachets have gone I am going to make my own healthy smoothies for breakfast - as they really seem to keep the hunger at bay.

I tried the Size 12 jeans on and as they are quite stretchy I managed to get them up to my bum - but no further! Definitley something to aim for his year. I listened to the CD and although it is a bit cheesey at times (like how you are supposed to tell your inner child you love them...puuuuukkkke!) it did relax me and whether it was a placebo effect or not I did feel more positive the next couple of days. Note to self, must listen to it again!

In a peruse for more inspiring weight loss blogs I found one by an American lady who has lost a huge amount of weight by herself and she had drawn up this one habit a week plan, which basically gets you to try and change one small thing a week. It isn't anything ground breaking but it seemed to really strike a chord in me as  I have previously said that with WW I don't feel like I've changed my bad habits - i'm just doing the same things within a point allowance. I can't see myself tracking forever so I need to programme in these healthy habits that are going to keep me in good stead for the future.

For week one the healthy habit was to drink more water. A simple thing but something I really don't do without reaaaaaally making the effort. So this week I have been making regular trips to the tap/water cooler to fill up my empty glass.

I weighed in this morning and have lost 3lbs and i'm sure the extra water intake has a great deal to do with that, so it is something I am really going to drill into myself. I also started doing my Zumba DVDs again this week so the little bit of exercise has given me that extra ooomph.

My body has failed me again though and have been up all night with a sore and swollen throat (it hurrrrrtsss!) and blocked ears- just when I was getting back into the swing of things, damnit!! Anyways I'm hoping it will shift soon and so I can bet back into my groove this week :)

Let's Get Fit the Celebrity Way!

It's that time of year when we are all on the come-down from the festivities and after one too many drunken buffet evenings and mince pies the cravings for fruit, vegetables and a simple glass of water start to set it. It is also the time that the media like to remind us that we have all inevitably gorged ourselves too much and therefore are fat and unhappy.


Whatever will motivate these sad, unfortunate people into action? (The editors wonder) The answer? Bombard the nation (mainly female) with images of lithe, fit and firm celebrities sunning themselves in teeney-weeney bikini's, promote the latest batch of former fatty celebrities-turned supermodels' fitness DVD, all of which claim to have unlocked the secret weight loss enigma, and read through a top ten list of celeb's favourite workouts.


This week I have become increasingly irked by the constant stream of media 'attacks' aimed at overweight people. It was kicked off by an article by one Daily Mirror columnist's helpful advice that all those wishing to lose weight should cut out the accompanying picture of bikini-clad supermodel Bar Refaeli and stick it on your fridge, you know, for TOTAL motivation. As I examined this picture of this woman I realised that this is a model of perfection perpetrated by the media to make the rest of the female population, who are not genetically fortunate to be in that 1% of human perfection, feel worthless, and quite frankly shite. It doesn't matter if I slimmed down to 7st, I will never have a supermodel body, and that's OK, I just wish the media would stop holding it up as the gold medal in body Olympics.


Yesterday I read an interview with Kimberley Walsh from Girls Aloud (who I like) which bore the headline "I HAVE LEARNT TO EMBRACE MY CURVES" For the love of God!!! Who else is sick of this headline? Especially when it is used to describe girls who are about as curvy as a ruler. Kimberley is curvy...by comparison, but then we compare her next to tiny Cheryl Cole, so it's not much of a yardstick is it? (Sorry Chez, I'm not comparing you with a yardstick). I once saw a TV programme in which a journo described Kate Moss as curvy, I kid you not. Curvy is apparently acceptable in the media but God forbid those celebrities that dare to carry cellulite. You can be curvy and built like a brick shithouse but one sign of a dimply thigh and you are back on the 'to be publicly shamed' list and no doubt pressured into losing more weight, ending with the inevitable "how I lost my ugly cellulite" news spread.


To add insult to injury I received an email from a fashion magazine which carried an article of 16 Celeb Fitness Tips - as I am interested in fitness I had a flick through - I should have known better. The first tip was from Super Helena Christensen (who in another life I WILL come back as) who lauded the amazing effect of walking in those crappy trainers that definitely will not make your bum as toned as Kylie's. The fact that Helena is a spokesperson for these trainers had no bearing on her pimping them (sarcasm tone: off). As I flicked through the rest one overriding theme hit me - to get a celeb body you need to be rich enough and have enough time on your hands to employ a top personal trainer and spend every day of every week dedicating your life to a pert arse. Take a step back mere mortals! I do however have to give a special commendation to Beyonce who at least admitted to get her body she has to work hard for it, unlike Kelly Brook who apparently does nothing but skip around beaches to keep so trim.


Us ordinary folk should realise that we are the norm and super fit celebs are the exception. I am focusing on being the best version of myself and not aspiring to look like what the media machine considers perfection.


Saying this, I wouldn't mind being Beyonce for one day - aww c'mon we all have dreams!

Instyle