I Don't Want It Enough

I like to think I'm pretty honest with myself. Whether I'm feeling motivated enough to get up at 6am before work and sweat it out down the gym or I've thought "eff it!" and ate and drank exactly what I've felt like, I've been honest with it all on this blog.

After reading countless other blogs and fitness/weight loss websites/resources I've come to the conclusion that I obviously don't want to lose weight enough. I don't want it enough.

As my post history shows I'm highly emotional and swing from being focused and driven to lost and miserable within a few days. If I wanted this enough then I would be more consistent and focus on my goals. I would give it my all.

I'm doing it all half-assed which means I take one step forward and two steps back.

I'm not moaning about it, I'm just being honest with myself.

In the past when I have felt like this I've made a plan of attack for the week to get myself back in the groove but I think I need to change things up. I can't do what I've been previously doing as I can't sustain it, I get bored. I don't yet know how I'm going to change things up. But I need to think of something soon as I refuse to end this year having made no progress from the last.

Time for a new plan of attack.

Ch-Ch-Changes

I've been deliberating at what to post on here for a week now...and i'm writing this whilst watching XFactor so i'm obviusly giving this my full attention! Currently being distracted by One Direction...

So i've been having the same thought needling away at me all week - the feeling like I need change. Work is boring me - I need change. Life is boring me - I need change. At least I made a change in one, albeit small area of my life - my hair! Gone are the long flowing locks in place of a long bob (a 'lob'). I did initally want to go shorter but I chickened out - sums up my attitude to real change!

My mindset needs to change. My body needs to change.

I feel slightly lost at the moment. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even think I know myself well enough to know what I really want to do - I don't have any particular life goals (other that currently, lose weight!) Wow...didn't realise this post was going to go so deep.

Right, lets list out some blimmin' goals (I must have some!):

• Well lets get the most obvious one out of the way - LOSE WEIGHT!
• I want to travel, especially Europe and America.
• Re-start and continue my writing, build up a portfolio.
• Take up a hobby (non exercise related) - learn an instrument, language...
• Err, go to Wimbledon tournament (i'm struggling for ideas here!)

Right that's all I can think of at the mo, weak, I know!

...Will post a pic of my new hair when i'm looking 36% better looking :)